Interrogation
by Ruby017
Summary: During interrogation Light begins to have his doubts about never being Kira. This is my first attempt at writing a fan fic. Please review what I have done so far if you want to see another chapter.


Light sat with his hands bound with metal clamps on a hard steel chair, his feet were also clamped down. He could honestly say he had never felt more uncomfortable and wondered again why he had agreed to this. Ah that was right. To prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wasn't Kira. Although it may still prove to be a wasted effort as far as Ryuuzaki was concerned. The man was like a pit bull, once he found a theory that he thought was right he wouldn't let go of it, no matter what anyone said to try and shake him off. Light wasn't sure whether to admire his stubbornness and pride or to just find it exceedingly irritating. He honestly felt he was more inclined towards the latter. After all he knew he wasn't and wasn't very likely to have ever been the first Kira. Although he had to admit that the first Kira's ideals were disturbingly similar to his own....however they were vastly exaggerated to say the least and could only be the work of a mad man. Some one that murdered thousands of people in cold blood was nothing less. He didn't feel he was unstable enough to take things to the extreme lengths that Kira had.

Coming back to the present he focused on Ryuuzaki wondering what exactly this interrogation of his was going to involve. Ryuuzaki sat in his usual crouch resting solely on his feet with his knees up to his chest, regarding Light with cold onyx eyes. He looked slightly more tired than was his normal; he had pressed his upper lip up slightly with his thumb. It was only because Light knew him reasonably well that he was aware that this one of many peculiar habits that the detective had was a sign of mild stress or uncertainty. He was sure that if L was conscious that he was showing this slight indication of the weakness known as emotion that he would cover it. But it seemed to be such a deeply ingrained habit that the detective probably didn't even realise that he was doing it. After a moment or two more he spoke.

"Alright Light, I want you to be honest with me, I don't wish to make this any more unpleasant than it has to be" Ryuuzaki intoned. Then he said in the same quiet but firm tone "Are you or have you ever been the first Kira?"

Light grimaced. He had been expecting this question and had been relatively sure that it was the first one L would fire at him. Yet it never ceased to annoy him, then there were those troublesome thoughts in his mind as to how familiar the first kira's ideals were to his own. He found this question particularly irksome due to the number of times he had been asked it. Not always in the same phrasing and sometimes cloaked behind another question or statement, but they came with the same intent. L was always looking to make him slip up and say something that would could be used as evidence against him. He couldn't allow any doubt to show in his voice or his expression, in either case L would target this flaw, if he felt that Light wasn't being completely honest. No doubt admitting his uncertainty to L wouldn't do him any favours either. So he stuck to his fairly standard response to this question.

"I am not nor have I ever been Kira" he stated flatly.

"You mean you have no memory of being the first Kira" L corrected "Because we both know that at one point you were Kira, my deductions could not have been incorrect up to that point"

Light sighed he was already steadily growing very frustrated with the detective when the questioning had barely even begun. L undoubtedly had a talent of infuriating him alarmingly quickly. Nobody else had the talent of getting under his skin anywhere near this effectively.

Again he stated clearly and succinctly "I am not Kira"

"I have no idea how you can keep throwing this lie into my face when the evidence that I collected in the early stages of this case quite clearly points to you being Kira. In fact I feel a little insulted that you obviously expect me to believe that" L watched him intently tilting his head slightly.

"Can't you accept Ryuuzaki, that for once one of your brilliant deductions was wrong?"

"You continue to amaze me Light. You are either an extremely skilled liar, are in denial or as I reasoned before have completely lost your memory of the time when you were Kira"

Light was sorely tempted to hit L and could think that this must have been the only reason for the restraints. He took a deep breath in then let it out.

"Why are we having this discussion Ryuuzaki? Nothing I say will make you change your mind. You have already decided that I was or am Kira so I fail to see what you gain from this line of questioning as nothing I say will differ from what I have already told you"

L considered him a moment.

"What I hope to gain from this Light is a confession from you. I cannot be certain as to whether you have lost your memories or not. If you have then this will prove it, in which case you are correct in that I will have nothing further to gain. However if your memories are intact then I will receive a confession and learn how Kira kills" he continued to stare at Light with his wide obsidian eyes.

Light was fuming. "You haven't even fully considered the notion that I may not be Kira have you? In fact I don't think that you will be satisfied unless I am Kira!" he had raised his voice slightly in his anger then carried on in a slightly more restrained fashion "What will you do when you find out that I'm not Kira Ryuzaki? Give up? Mope because you were wrong? You know what; you're the strangest person I have ever met. An emotionless child. It's ridiculous those two words shouldn't even be in the same sentence..." he trailed off in a kind of disgusted frustration.

"I have considered every angle of this case Light. Yes I have even explored the possibility that you may not be Kira. As for not being satisfied unless you are Kira... yes I suppose there may be some truth to that" there was a brief pause "I believe there is a 69% chance that you were once Kira, there is a 25% possibility that you are still Kira and a 6% probability that you never where Kira. However the risk that you are still Kira or that Kira still lurks somewhere within you is too great to overlook. I feel that this line of questioning will go nowhere and I have already tried questioning you in a similar manner before. The results of this method were almost fruitless, it seems unlikely that this trend will change " Light had to admit that L's calculated probability of him not being Kira at all was higher than he thought it would be. But then he considered L's last words and for the first time in a long while he felt afraid. Afraid of what those words might entail. This was meant to be an interrogation after all. He recalled L's first words 'I don't wish to make this any more unpleasant than it has to be'. Well so far he couldn't say he had particularly enjoyed L's questioning but it certainly hadn't been terribly unpleasant. So what was L planning to do now? Force a confession out of him because his questioning had yielded no results? He stared across into the detectives eyes almost as if trying to pluck the thoughts out of the man's head. After about two minutes of this L looked away as if distracted by something, but before he had averted his gaze Light had seen something flash across his eyes. It had almost looked like guilt.

Without any further ado L slowly unfolded himself from his accustomed crouch to stand up with his shoulders a little hunched over, he shuffled into the corner of the interrogation room, his back to Light. He fished a phone out of his pocket gently with two fingers as if holding it in his palm would somehow crush it. He murmured into it too softly for Light to hear then slid it back into his pocket and walked out of the room. Light blinked. L had walked out of the room not saying a word leaving him bound to the chair. He did a quick scan of the room then found what he was looking for, a camera. L had completely abandoned his questioning and was instead now watching him on a screen. So this was it? He was just going to be left to sit in this chair? Then there was that phone call. L had been speaking quietly so he obviously hadn't wanted Light to hear. But then he could have just walked out of the room and talked. That way Light would have been certain not to over hear anything. This could only mean that for some reason L had wanted Light to know that he was answering that call. But why? L never did something without having a good reason for it.

The door opened again to reveal the old man Watari. He silently strolled up to the chair that Light was attached to pressing a button making the cuffs flip up from around his wrists and feet.

"Am I free to continue assisting with the Kira case now?" Light asked hesitantly. Watari shook his head slightly.

"No we are merely progressing to stage two of the interrogation" he said. Light stood then Watari abruptly turned starting towards the door.

"Is there a chance that you will tell me what the second step of this interrogation involves?" Light stayed next to the chair uneasy. Watari turned his head to regard the young man with for once slightly open weary eyes. "It will just be a slightly more severe method of extracting information from you" he replied softly. His words and his manner were a contradiction, Light would have expected him to sound cold but there was nothing but faint regret in his voice. Light looked towards the ground thoughtfully then looked back into the old man's almost completely closed eyes they gave the impression that he was constantly squinting "Fine, if it helps with the case in any way or clears me of suspicion then... do whatever you deem necessary, I won't resist" he answered, there was no fear in his voice just a stoic calmness. With that Watari continued out of the room with Light following him. At the end of the corridor the area widened making room for a control panel with some computer chairs placed in front of it. This all faced a large glass window looking into a room. On one of the chairs sat Matsuda his expression uncharacteristically grim.

Watari gestured towards a door leading into the room saying "You need to go and stand in the centre" after this brief instruction he seated himself at the control panel. Light nodded opened the door to walk into the centre of the room. At this point Matsuda unexpectedly got up following him in.

"So are you going to be the one questioning me Matsuda?" Light asked amused.

"No of course not Light, I'm just not cut out for that kind of thing" he said abashedly rubbing the back of his head. "I'm just going to be keeping an eye on you mostly" At this Light watched as Matsuda grabbed hold of something that had been let down from the ceiling, a chain with a manacle on the end. Well it didn't take a genius to figure out what he was going to do with that. Light could only hope at this point that he wasn't about to be strung up by his ankles. Now that he wouldn't take too kindly to, despite saying that he wouldn't resist to Watari. Everyone has their limits. He felt Matsuda secure the manacle around his left wrist, it was tight but not uncomfortable. Matsuda went to his other side repeating this with his right wrist. It could be worse. He could see Watari pressing something on the control panel. A second or so later two wide metal restraints rose out of the floor encircling his feet. Watari tapped on something else, suddenly Light's arms were being pulled up as the chains retracted back into the ceiling. His eyes widened. What was this going to be some kind of stretch torture? Thankfully the chain stopped at a point where his arms were pulled up just about as far as they could go. The manacles were hurting his wrists a bit but it wasn't so bad. He couldn't help but feel a flash of irritation at not just one surveillance camera but two. Did L enjoy seeing him suffer? He knew one thing with absolute certainty nothing good was ever going to come of seeing either L or Watari clicking away at that control panel. He turned to face Matsuda.

"Do you know how long I'll be stuck in here?" he asked.

"I don't know Light, until L's satisfied I guess" seeing Light flinch a little at this he gave him a sympathetic smile "Don't worry too much Light if we think L's taking this too far we'll get you out of here" Light knew this was true when he'd been stuck in confinement before his father and the other members of the task force had talked L into letting him out. Although he remembered that had come with a price, he had at first been elated that he was finally free then shortly horrified after that as he had been certain his own father was going to execute him. He had never once been in greater fear for his life than when his father pointed a gun at him and pulled the trigger. The round had been a blank. The whole thing was a ploy by L to trick both him and Misa into thinking that they were going to be killed. The theory was that if he was Kira and Misa was the second Kira that one of them would kill his father before he could pull the trigger. It had been a cold calculation on L's part. It was as if he sometimes stopped thinking of them as people and started thinking of them more as chess pieces. However the way he managed to detach himself from the case, looking at everything with such cold logic was what made L the world's best detective. But as that hadn't happened they had both been cleared. Well, partially cleared in any case. Certainly not let off the hook. As after that Light found himself having to be with L every hour of every day this was namely because of a six foot chain and handcuffs. Misa got off a little more lightly and was just put on constant surveillance.

The reason he had agreed to a similar, well now comparatively worse arrangement is that although he wanted L to believe that he wasn't Kira he was beginning to doubt himself. The doubts had taken root in his mind. He was beginning to conceive that under the right circumstances he could have become Kira. Now he wanted to prove in his own mind that he was never Kira. The thought scared him that he may have been Kira, he vehemently denied it to L coming up with plausible reasons why he had never been Kira. He had to admit that he sometimes found himself thinking that the world would be much better off without some people. However he violently resisted the idea that he could have killed thousands in cold blood. But then there was the perturbing question as to why there were worrying blank patches in his memory. He could remember doing something he just didn't know exactly what it was he had been doing. It was like there was a whole period of time in his life that he could only remember extremely small parts of, and then there were some events that he did remember but didn't seem to fit together like they should. It was as if he had edited parts of his own memory. It was frustrating and it certainly seemed to fit with L's theory that he was Kira but just couldn't remember it. The fact remained that he wasn't just trying to convince L that he wasn't Kira he was also trying to convince himself of this as well.

After all if he was Kira he deserved to be here. He wanted to solve the Kira case as much as L did. If that meant trying to find the Kira within him, so be it. If there really were memories in his head of a time when he was Kira he could use that information now to hunt down other Kira's. After he had done this he would turn himself in to Interpol for execution. If he had been the first Kira this was the best option to take, the only decent thing to do. He would never be able to make up for all the deaths he may have caused. Of course there was something to consider in that if he regained his memories he may just become Kira again body and soul. It was the first time standing here that he'd ever really thought about things from this angle. He spent so much of his time denying being Kira to himself and others that he never thought about it.

Based on this idea that he may once have been the deplorable creature known as Kira, what should he do? He would either need to regain his memories to use them for good but then there was that nagging thought that this might simply make him become Kira again so his other option would be to try to avoid getting them back. In either case he needed to figure out what the catalyst would be to retrieve his memories. He may simply be selectively remembering things and blocking the memories of being Kira out. He needed something that would give him an idea as to what may have happened to make him forget. It seemed the most logical place to start with this would be the footage of him in his fifty day imprisonment that was when everyone was saying that this sudden switch in his behaviour had happened.

He then suddenly noticed that his feet felt as though they were heating up a little. He wondered how long he had been in here trapped in his own musings. As he began to become more aware of himself he realised his feet and arms were aching a fair bit and his wrists were now very uncomfortable were the manacles were digging in. He had a feeling he would regret coming back to reality again as it wouldn't be so easy for him to retreat into his own thoughts with this continual discomfort distracting him. One of his feet was really starting to hurt him so he shifted the majority of his body weight onto the other foot to rest it a little. He knew that eventually doing this would make little difference it would painful whichever foot he was standing on. After a brief struggle with the chains holding his arms up he realised that it was doing him no good. He simply couldn't move them; it was a waste of energy trying.

He was abruptly struck by a feeling of terror. They could do anything to him while he was like this and he wouldn't be able to do anything to stop them. He wasn't used to feeling that he had so little control over a situation. He quickly stamped the feeling down attempting to calm himself. He could do this. There was nobody that he was aware of in the task force that would take advantage of his current predicament to do something to him. He swallowed. Almost nobody. It was possible that L might decide to take advantage of this. It had been his idea after all. But what would he do?


End file.
